 |
| Daddy Time |
 |
| Devlin's Halloween Costume |
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
First Meetings: Face-to-Face
I probably should have blogged this yesterday, but I actually have to admit that I spent most of the evening sort of absorbing everything.....
After we had dropped off Cat (who had come up to San Jose to go with me to see The Damned [see previous blog]), Amy and I went to my mom's, spent a little bit of time visiting, and then I left them all to drive myself over to Keith's (my father's brother, my recently-discovered uncle) house. Before I had been able to lock my truck, my father was on the porch.
It has been close to 40 years, basically my entire life. I had gone back and forth in my head as to what would be appropriate, what would I feel comfortable with: a hug or a handshake. I still wasn't completely certain until about a second beforehand. A handshake is so impersonal; it tend to keep people at something of a polite distance. A hug opens things up, lowers our guards, allows for the potential of more. I opted for the hug, which I feel was a good choice.
I have to admit to tearing up. After all, this is my father, the person at least partially responsible for bringing me into the world. But I did not cry. Not because I was trying to be "tough"; it was simply a bit more sensory overload that went beyond tears.
Our visit was slightly awkward at first, understandably so. I met a few other members of Keith's family, Randy's (my father) girlfriend. I think one of his concerns was that this would be something of an "interrogation" meeting, and I have to admit I have questions. But I think the casual atmosphere and conversation, the ebb and flow of light conversation was for the best. It served allow everyone to let their guards down, to relax, to take in the moment. It was very much like a "family" type of visit. The family resemblances between my father, Keith, and myself are quite amazing, sort of eerily so even! We did not touch upon anything too heavy, basically kept everything to a minimum of general informational type of questions, although there was some interesting banter referencing other family and events. As nervous as I was throughout, it became easier the longer I was there.
Unfortunately, I had to cut things short, only staying for about an hour and half or so; we had to drive back to San Jose and I wanted to get home before it got too late so that Sloanie didn't have to be at home on her own for too long (she was in school, and could not take the trip with us for the day). He gave me his number and I put it into my cell and will call. Thankfully, Keith is an avid photographer, and took a number of shots throughout, inside and outside. I am including some here (see link below).
I have questions, to be sure. Some I feel I have a right to ask, others perhaps I do not. There is 40 years or so of space to fill in. It is my hope this will not be the only visit. I don't think it will; he seemed to be just as interested in more visits and learning more about me as I am about him. I have to admit, though, it is sort of difficult. But I have to remind myself that it must be just as odd for him as well and I guess we will sort it out over time.
Thanks to Keith for helping to arrange everything. I look forward to learning more about the family I have not been apart of for so many years.
After we had dropped off Cat (who had come up to San Jose to go with me to see The Damned [see previous blog]), Amy and I went to my mom's, spent a little bit of time visiting, and then I left them all to drive myself over to Keith's (my father's brother, my recently-discovered uncle) house. Before I had been able to lock my truck, my father was on the porch.
It has been close to 40 years, basically my entire life. I had gone back and forth in my head as to what would be appropriate, what would I feel comfortable with: a hug or a handshake. I still wasn't completely certain until about a second beforehand. A handshake is so impersonal; it tend to keep people at something of a polite distance. A hug opens things up, lowers our guards, allows for the potential of more. I opted for the hug, which I feel was a good choice.
I have to admit to tearing up. After all, this is my father, the person at least partially responsible for bringing me into the world. But I did not cry. Not because I was trying to be "tough"; it was simply a bit more sensory overload that went beyond tears.
Our visit was slightly awkward at first, understandably so. I met a few other members of Keith's family, Randy's (my father) girlfriend. I think one of his concerns was that this would be something of an "interrogation" meeting, and I have to admit I have questions. But I think the casual atmosphere and conversation, the ebb and flow of light conversation was for the best. It served allow everyone to let their guards down, to relax, to take in the moment. It was very much like a "family" type of visit. The family resemblances between my father, Keith, and myself are quite amazing, sort of eerily so even! We did not touch upon anything too heavy, basically kept everything to a minimum of general informational type of questions, although there was some interesting banter referencing other family and events. As nervous as I was throughout, it became easier the longer I was there.
Unfortunately, I had to cut things short, only staying for about an hour and half or so; we had to drive back to San Jose and I wanted to get home before it got too late so that Sloanie didn't have to be at home on her own for too long (she was in school, and could not take the trip with us for the day). He gave me his number and I put it into my cell and will call. Thankfully, Keith is an avid photographer, and took a number of shots throughout, inside and outside. I am including some here (see link below).
I have questions, to be sure. Some I feel I have a right to ask, others perhaps I do not. There is 40 years or so of space to fill in. It is my hope this will not be the only visit. I don't think it will; he seemed to be just as interested in more visits and learning more about me as I am about him. I have to admit, though, it is sort of difficult. But I have to remind myself that it must be just as odd for him as well and I guess we will sort it out over time.
Thanks to Keith for helping to arrange everything. I look forward to learning more about the family I have not been apart of for so many years.
 |
| First Meetings: Face-to-Face |
The Damned - Live in San Jose, CA 2008
The Damned, perhaps the most important band in punk rock history (www.officialdamned.com), rolled into San Jose on 10/29 to play one of only a handful of U.S. West Coast dates. My long-time friend Cat has been an avid Damned fan (heh, that sounded funny.....) since the 80s, so this was a great opportunity to catch them. We were literally at the front of the stage in this very small local venue and one must remember that I got all of these shots while jumping up and down and being jostled in all directions in true punk rock/mosh pit style - all good-naturedly and fun for all, of course. Please feel free to comment.
 |
| The Damned - Live in San Jose 2008 |
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Great Quote
I regularly contribute commentary to various stories - most of a political bent - in the S.F. Chronicle. In reviewing some tonight left by others, I came across the greatest analogy in response to John McCain and Sarah Palin's insistence to their supporters that they will pull out an upset win over Obama and Biden next week. I think you will enjoy it as well:
"You can jump from the 80th story of a building and pretend that you're flying for the first 79."
Ah.....I love it.
"You can jump from the 80th story of a building and pretend that you're flying for the first 79."
Ah.....I love it.
Monday, October 27, 2008
First Meetings
Two fairly major posts in one night from me. Don't you feel special? I had to knock out the "Voting" entry as it was wearing on me. This particular entry will be a rather more serious one.
I am meeting my biological father on Thursday.
As can be imagined, I have a variety of emotions swirling through my head right now. I have sort of backed off on posts in relation to this subject, not because I felt I had to, but because there really was not much to say. I have been exchanging emails and a few phone calls with my father's brother Keith, who has been very helpful in providing family photos and information as well as acting as something of a liaison between my father and myself. This week seems to have presented itself as the best time; I am taking my friend Cat back home on Thursday (she is coming to San Jose so we can go see The Damned play locally Wednesday night). Amy and Devlin will be driving in with us (we will visit my mom at her work so she can show off her grandson), and I will be dropping them off at my mom's house before heading over to Keith's.
That's the plan. As you can see, being somewhat OCD in detailing events is sort of my way of either avoiding the main subject matter or simply clarifying it in my own head. Take your pick.
I know this is going to be a somewhat awkward meeting. After all, we both have 40 years to cram into about an hour or two. That said, I think it is best that we don't try to fill the time with that 40 years. What am I going to say? I have no clue in advance. How will he react to seeing me for the first time in 40 years? Also difficult to say, but based on Keith's comments, we is just as anxious and apprehensive.
I started this journey not that long ago. It is a little intimidating to think that it has taken such a short amount of time to get to this point. And not to wax too dramatic, but I can't help but think that this is the real start. We shall see and I will obviously keep this page updated for anyone who cares.
I am meeting my biological father on Thursday.
As can be imagined, I have a variety of emotions swirling through my head right now. I have sort of backed off on posts in relation to this subject, not because I felt I had to, but because there really was not much to say. I have been exchanging emails and a few phone calls with my father's brother Keith, who has been very helpful in providing family photos and information as well as acting as something of a liaison between my father and myself. This week seems to have presented itself as the best time; I am taking my friend Cat back home on Thursday (she is coming to San Jose so we can go see The Damned play locally Wednesday night). Amy and Devlin will be driving in with us (we will visit my mom at her work so she can show off her grandson), and I will be dropping them off at my mom's house before heading over to Keith's.
That's the plan. As you can see, being somewhat OCD in detailing events is sort of my way of either avoiding the main subject matter or simply clarifying it in my own head. Take your pick.
I know this is going to be a somewhat awkward meeting. After all, we both have 40 years to cram into about an hour or two. That said, I think it is best that we don't try to fill the time with that 40 years. What am I going to say? I have no clue in advance. How will he react to seeing me for the first time in 40 years? Also difficult to say, but based on Keith's comments, we is just as anxious and apprehensive.
I started this journey not that long ago. It is a little intimidating to think that it has taken such a short amount of time to get to this point. And not to wax too dramatic, but I can't help but think that this is the real start. We shall see and I will obviously keep this page updated for anyone who cares.
Voting
I was struck today by what I can only surmise to be something of a common opinion, given the source. While I like the person who uttered the opinion very much, I have to admit to feeling somewhat arrogant in my obviously elitist position of being more intellectual. Basically, I like them for who they are but I feel they are not my equal. Is that bad? Perhaps I should detail their opinion and then maybe it will appear more clearly than this rather cryptic paragraph.
We dropped off a piece of furniture today that we no longer had any use for to someone who could definitely use it. After I had unloaded the item(s), this person noticed the "Obama/Biden '08" campaign car magnet on the tailgate of the Titan. Immediately, they laughingly commented, "Oh no.....you are supporting Obama?" My response was dry, but pointed to a degree, with only a hint of backing off a touch because this person is considered something of a friend. I merely said, yes, I was supporting Obama, because I was sick and tired of dealing with the same bullshit and lies the GOP has generated over the course of the past eight years. The conversation was good-natured, actually, and she referenced a recent story about how there was doubt about Obama even being a citizen of the U.S. I had to actually bite the inside of my mouth a bit to stop myself from leveling into them, as they had obviously not gotten beyond the headline (here is the story). When I started to detail how they were buying into the bullshit being slung, they backed off a bit by figuratively throwing up their hands and noting, "I don't know, I really don't get too involved in politics.....I don't even vote."
Excuse me?
How can someone be even slightly critical of my political opinion (i.e. choice of candidate) and yet not vote themselves?
It is these types of encounters that make me wonder if it is all worth it sometimes. The basic American - to me - seems so apathetic as to be near moronic. My fear is that this person may represent a larger demographic than I would like and are subscribing to the fear mongering, the lies, the mudslingling so inherent in politics (which, by the way, John McCain vowed at the beginning of his campaign that he would never resort to.....so much for good intentions, huh?).
Anyway, it sort of inspired me to vote today. Yes, I voted today, both Amy and I did. We received our absentee ballots a couple of weeks ago and have been too busy to really focus on them. This afternoon, however, I set-up the laptop in front of us, researched all of the propositions, reviewed the various pros and cons for everything noted. Our ballots sit sealed and ready to be picked up (will place them in the mail tomorrow).
At this point, I am done trying to convince anyone. If anyone is still undecided, all I can say is "Are you fucking kidding me?". I don't care how you vote, just get your ass out and do it. Have an opinion AND have the brain and will to make your opinion known and count.
'Nuff said.
We dropped off a piece of furniture today that we no longer had any use for to someone who could definitely use it. After I had unloaded the item(s), this person noticed the "Obama/Biden '08" campaign car magnet on the tailgate of the Titan. Immediately, they laughingly commented, "Oh no.....you are supporting Obama?" My response was dry, but pointed to a degree, with only a hint of backing off a touch because this person is considered something of a friend. I merely said, yes, I was supporting Obama, because I was sick and tired of dealing with the same bullshit and lies the GOP has generated over the course of the past eight years. The conversation was good-natured, actually, and she referenced a recent story about how there was doubt about Obama even being a citizen of the U.S. I had to actually bite the inside of my mouth a bit to stop myself from leveling into them, as they had obviously not gotten beyond the headline (here is the story). When I started to detail how they were buying into the bullshit being slung, they backed off a bit by figuratively throwing up their hands and noting, "I don't know, I really don't get too involved in politics.....I don't even vote."
Excuse me?
How can someone be even slightly critical of my political opinion (i.e. choice of candidate) and yet not vote themselves?
It is these types of encounters that make me wonder if it is all worth it sometimes. The basic American - to me - seems so apathetic as to be near moronic. My fear is that this person may represent a larger demographic than I would like and are subscribing to the fear mongering, the lies, the mudslingling so inherent in politics (which, by the way, John McCain vowed at the beginning of his campaign that he would never resort to.....so much for good intentions, huh?).
Anyway, it sort of inspired me to vote today. Yes, I voted today, both Amy and I did. We received our absentee ballots a couple of weeks ago and have been too busy to really focus on them. This afternoon, however, I set-up the laptop in front of us, researched all of the propositions, reviewed the various pros and cons for everything noted. Our ballots sit sealed and ready to be picked up (will place them in the mail tomorrow).
At this point, I am done trying to convince anyone. If anyone is still undecided, all I can say is "Are you fucking kidding me?". I don't care how you vote, just get your ass out and do it. Have an opinion AND have the brain and will to make your opinion known and count.
'Nuff said.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)