I came very close to killing a teenager this evening. Not really, but the pimp hand cocked back once or twice in preparation...
This kid is only 13. What the fuck am I going to do at 16? At 18?
The biggest issue seems to be a general level of unappreciativeness for what Amy and I do and provide for her. Was I this way when I was her age? I don't recall, too many years in between. But I honestly do not think I was.
I don't even want to go into what brought the confrontation on tonight. I was so furious that it makes me angry all over again just considering trying to detail it here. But it led into other issues, and that is where my current frustration stems from.
Sloan has had a hard time with the divorce between her mother and I. To make matters even more difficult, I am relegated to being the disciplinarian. I know. Me. Who would ever think that one? But her mother only sees her every other weekend (I have primary custody), so that time is not going to be filled with any level of discipline. We just have to expect it.
But sometimes...
She graduates middle school in a couple of weeks and starts high school in August. If it is this bad right now, what is going to happen later on down the road?
Not much scares me in this life. This gives me pause...
Sorry. Had to vent...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Standing at the crossroads...
As I move slowly but surely to the four-month mark of unemployment, I find myself wondering what my next move really should be. Doing things "by the book"? Hell...at this stage I can truthfully say I have not only absorbed and done everything by it, I have contributed new chapters. Resumes tailored to individual job postings, networking as much as I can without pushing the limits of people's patience, being open to feedback, sending my resume to companies that are not even posting any openings...you name it.
There simply are no jobs out there. Plain and simple.
So, I am exploring what I can that may or may not help me to generate money while I continue my search. Monday, I head over to Mountain View to take part in the same bartending course Amy took a few years ago in the hope I can secure a drink slinger gig for the nights while still looking for a corporate job during the day. We'll see, but doing something is better than doing nothing and I just feel like I am stagnating. I send out a minimum of five resumes per week, often more than that, and get little response. Networking only works when the companies your networking contacts are at are actually hiring.
On top of all of this, we got notified this past week that our landlord is going to have to seriously look at selling our house because the mortgage modification approach does not seem to be working for them. They want to sell to us, but it is something very much up in the air. We could probably swing a down payment if we have until the early portion of next year (which is what the landlord has indicated, but one can never be sure, now can one?). The big question is whether we will be able to get a mortgage loan when our mutual credit is considered. So...we may or may not be able to swing it or we may or may not have to end up looking for a new place. Not a happy proposition when I am still currently out of work.
I don't know. Everything is so much in flux and discombobulated, still, almost four months in. Overall, we are ok. But I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Not an overly happy blog post, I know. But it's real.
Guess I will have to bury myself in the garden I am setting up and try to forget about it all, if only for a short time...
There simply are no jobs out there. Plain and simple.
So, I am exploring what I can that may or may not help me to generate money while I continue my search. Monday, I head over to Mountain View to take part in the same bartending course Amy took a few years ago in the hope I can secure a drink slinger gig for the nights while still looking for a corporate job during the day. We'll see, but doing something is better than doing nothing and I just feel like I am stagnating. I send out a minimum of five resumes per week, often more than that, and get little response. Networking only works when the companies your networking contacts are at are actually hiring.
On top of all of this, we got notified this past week that our landlord is going to have to seriously look at selling our house because the mortgage modification approach does not seem to be working for them. They want to sell to us, but it is something very much up in the air. We could probably swing a down payment if we have until the early portion of next year (which is what the landlord has indicated, but one can never be sure, now can one?). The big question is whether we will be able to get a mortgage loan when our mutual credit is considered. So...we may or may not be able to swing it or we may or may not have to end up looking for a new place. Not a happy proposition when I am still currently out of work.
I don't know. Everything is so much in flux and discombobulated, still, almost four months in. Overall, we are ok. But I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Not an overly happy blog post, I know. But it's real.
Guess I will have to bury myself in the garden I am setting up and try to forget about it all, if only for a short time...
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