The prospect of being a father again has bounced me back and forth between (somewhat) fearful apprehension to total and complete joy. When my daughter (who just turned 13.....) was born, I felt I was ready but I honestly didn't know. What I mean is that because it was all so new, it was easy to become overwhelmed and start to second-guess myself. It didn't help that I honestly did not feel as if I was working with a partner who was altogether "there", someone willing and able to accept that her own needs had become completely secondary to everything else. And it is of the utmost importance to play as part of a team. Otherwise you just end up spinning your wheels in mud. I had to learn the hard way with my daughter, make decisions that I wish I didn't have to make (and not just those all parents do.....). I had to practically wage war. In the end, I think she is growing into herself, slowly but surely, understanding the situation surrounding the details of our relationship, moving forward. With this new baby on the way, it is such a different experience. With Amy, I have always felt as if I have an actual partner, the perfect teammate. There is no conflict in our relationship, we consult with each other and work well together. No stress, no strain, no real concerns or worries other than the normal ones all soon-to-be parents have. We have great friends and excited family members just waiting to help out. Yesterday, at our friend and co-worker Heather's baby shower, I was really struck by how very cool and very supportive her and her husband's friends obviously are and it reminded me of how lucky we are as well. Some people have asked if I am nervous or anything and I have to say I'm not. I know everything is going to be fine. These final weeks, the actual birth, and the whole adventure afterward. If I had any lingering concerns or questions, yesterday was the first day I can say, "Everything is cool, everything will be fine, this is going to be very, very cool."
Thats it, just a random thought. Time to get back to work now I guess.....
2 comments:
What a nice post! It's great to feel like you've got a teammate pulling you through. I started reading the Babyproofing your marriage book and it may not be required reading for us -- we're doing just fine on our own. :)
PS So glad you had fun yesterday!
I think we share a solid foundation to build on. I know things will be just fine. Yes, I am nervous, I've never done this before. I fear the big picture and all the little steps on the way, like delivery...! But who doesn't. I know that we'll be a fine team.
Thanks for the kind words, even if they are random. Oh, and for making me teary again. Man, if I can only not cry at every nice thing I read, or every baby story I hear...
Post a Comment