Been awhile...

Wow. I just took a quick look at the date of my last blog entry and see that it was back in February. Sort of pitiful for someone who fancies himself to be something of a writer...

There are actually some very good reasons for this and I apologize in advance if I have to be cryptic to some degree or another in what I write today. The basic fact of the matter is that our household has been thrown into massive upheaval and we have been spending the better part of our time cleaning up the pieces. For the past couple of months now, my daughter's mother and I have been embroiled in legal maneuvering over primary custody of Sloan. This came up as an issue after our move to Tracy from San Jose. For the past eleven years - eight of those under court order with her paying me child support - Sloan's mother was content with the situation as it existed. She lived in San Jose, we lived in San Jose. After we moved this past year, however, she was not happy. working in her favor was the fact that Sloan was not entirely happy either. Growing up, I recall every time my family and I moved. I lost friends, I had to start over, and it sucked, I admit. But I got over it. But Sloan had options and a mother who chose to dangle all sorts of carrots in front of her to get her to move back and live with her. There are a lot of things involved here, much of which I am unable to go into details about. but the bottom line, after all is said and done, the decision was made to allow Sloan to move back to San Jose. We have been in court several times, and each side has spent literally thousands of dollars on this...a fact that truly annoys me because it could have been resolved without that hassle. I can't even go into all particulars or even how I feel out here because I never know who is following along. It has been a horrible, depressing roller coaster and while we love Sloan unconditionally, we cannot get beyond the knowledge that this decision will end up being all bad for her. But we have to allow her to figure this out on her own. But it is perhaps the most painful and emotionally draining thing I have ever had to endure in my life up to this point. As big a guy as I am or as "tough" as I may appear to some, I can admit to having numerous days and nights where I could do nothing more than cry. Everything Amy and I have done in our life together has included making sure our choices benefit not just us, but our children as well, as any parent would. Amy was thrust into the role of step-mother without any real preparation and has really been the most consistent mother-like presence in Sloan's life. We have worked hard to make our family's lives better. And now we feel as if we have been collectively punched in the gut. And we have to take it.

On a more upbeat note, I was finally given an offer letter from my current employer, changing my status from temporary/contract to regular/full-time, which I accepted. It has been a long road getting to this point, but I am so very grateful to each and every person who ever offered me words of encouragement, let alone those who worked on their own to help me find potential positions to submit my resume to. As this is occurring, Amy and I are working on setting up some sort of workable schedule that would alleviate some of her need to carpool from Tracy to Palo Alto every day and open some options up to both of us.

I have neglected some people and requests. For that I apologize, but I hope everyone can understand. During the course of this difficult time frame it has been everything we can do to focus on ourselves, to keep things moving along. Don't take it too personally, please. Of course, I could remind some people they have the ability to pick up a phone themselves, too...

Our thanks to our friends and family for their continuing support through this hard transition.

I will try to make a better effort to write more regularly. And will try to keep it from being too much of a downer...